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August 26, 2010

Are You Irresistibly Attractive?

Filed under: Business — Tags: , — senthilgct @ 5:57 pm

If you’ve done any reading on the subject of marketing, you’ve certainly heard the term "Unique Selling Proposition" or "USP."

As a reminder, your USP is what positions you in the marketplace — are you, or what you sell, the best, the cheapest, the fastest, the easiest, the longest lasting, the most reliable, the most prestigious? Your USP is what makes you distinct from your competitors, but it’s often the thing first-time business owners don’t fully understand.

Lara and I just started working together last month, and one of the first things we had to tackle was her USP. As a web site designer, she is part of a well-developed marketplace often competing with several other companies for every job.

"I really don’t know why they keep picking the other guy. It’s so frustrating after I’ve worked so hard to get in the door in the first place. The only way I feel like I can get the job is if I underbid it, but I’ll never be able to keep my business running that way."

"Well, you’re right," I replied. "You shouldn’t have to lower your prices just to get every job. There are certainly web designers out there who are charging less than you, but there are probably an equal number of them that are charging more. So, if we assume that there are companies hiring your higher- priced competitors, then maybe price isn’t what every prospect bases their decision on."

"It sure has been for me. That’s always the reason they say they didn’t choose me. It makes me think that I’m going to have to lower my prices in order to get any work, but like I said, I’m not charging anything out of the ordinary. My hourly rate is at the market average as far as I can tell."

There were a couple of issues that we explored during the rest of the conversation, including her pricing, her competitors, her target market, her mission, etc. But the one that really hit home was her USP.

Up until this point, Lara didn’t realize that she was the one forcing her prospects to make their decisions based on price. She was marketing using the Competition Model instead of the Distinction Model.

In the Competition Model, your prospects see you as offering the same service as your competitors. In their mind, there is no delineation between what you and your competitors offer and how you offer it. So the only decision-making factor they are left with is price.

If they think all web designers offer the same level of web site design, can complete it in the same time frame and will be equally professional, what’s left? That’s right ? price.

Think about how you make buying decisions. If you are getting your clothes dry-cleaned every week and you think that the three local dry cleaners all do a decent job, will have your suits ready in two days, and are equally friendly or disagreeable, aren’t you going to go with the cheapest one?

But some dry cleaners pick up and deliver don’t they? Some offer tailoring and mending services in addition to dry cleaning. Others set up shop inside large grocery stores, so you can knock out two errands in one stop.

These things make them distinct from their competitors. There are people who will pay a little more in order to have their dry cleaning picked up. There are others that will pay a little more to be able to drop it off and pick it up at the same time they are buying their week’s groceries.

If you don’t want to compete strictly on price, you’ve got to be DISTINCT from your competitors. That way, your prospects have something, besides price, to base their decision on. By emphasizing that distinction in your marketing efforts, you will naturally attract those prospects who value your distinction.

And when you are Irresistibly Attractive, the sales pressure is off. You just go out there, show them who you are and what you can do, and they come to you!

So how do you make you and your business DISTINCT and, therefore, Irresistibly Attractive? By creating your Unique Selling Proposition (USP).

What makes you different than your competitors? Are you faster? Do you deliver better quality? Are you more responsive to their needs? Are you closer in proximity? Do you specialize in a particular industry?

Take a moment to put yourself in the mind of your prospects. If you were hiring someone to perform your kind of service, what would you want?

You can practice by thinking about your own buying decisions. If I was hiring someone to clean my house, I would want them to:

  • do an impeccable cleaning job

  • show up on the scheduled day/time

  • avoid breaking/taking things

  • smoke outside of my house, if they smoke

  • charge $100 or less

If I could find someone to do these things for $65, I would hire them. But, if I would have to sacrifice the quality of their work or their reliability in order to pay the lower price, I would go with someone else. It’s important to me to have a clean house and to know that I can count on that person to show up on Thursdays before I have guests arrive on Friday.

So, here’s the process:

  • make a list of the things you would look for if you were a prospect hiring someone to do your service

  • put that list in priority order

  • gather all of your sales materials together (e.g. printout of web site, business cards, letterhead, brochures, email signature lines, proposal, trade show displays, newsletter, sales letter, direct mailers, cold calling script, elevator speech, etc.)

  • set aside 1-2 hours to review all of your materials to see what message you are sending to your prospects

  • revise your materials as needed

    When you review your materials, try to look at them with fresh eyes as a prospect would. After going through them once and making notes about the impression they set, go through them again specifically looking for the top two distinctions from your list.

    Do your sales materials/tools really bring your message home? Are your top 2 distinctions clearly emphasized in your materials? Are there things you need to add, omit, or revise in order to create your distinct impression on your prospects?

    Once you are communicating a very specific and consistent message about yourself and your business, you will find that you no longer have to sell. Business comes to you ? and it’s the kind of work you like that pays you what you deserve.

    About The Author

    Kimberly Stevens is the author of the ebook series, *The Profitable Business Owner: A Step-by-Step System for Starting & Running a Successful Service Business*. Download Sample Chapters & get her free MiniCourse, *The 10 Most Common Mistakes Business Owners Make & How To Avoid Them* at: http://www.askthebizcoach.com/ebooks.htm

    kim@askthebizcoach.com

    • August 21, 2010

    The Gift

    Filed under: Business — Tags: , — icunk10berebes @ 11:55 pm

    Welcome to The Gift ? a simple pattern that is both ancient as well as modern, with a thousand and one uses, that can make the world a different place for you, for the people you love, for the people you don’t love, and for those who you haven’t even met yet.

    It may be that the act of giving The Gift can make changes at a far wider level too; as more and more minds become involved in this wonderful process, we might well have the opportunity to permanently influence matters on a profound plane of reality.

    Having worked professionally with Energy Therapies for many years, I am very aware that we receive far more information and insight about the nature of reality around us than we could consciously ever understand, or evaluate, or even respond to.

    Much of this information is invisible ? but you can still feel it and it certainly has the power to make you happy and bright, or to bring you down; it is this information or knowledge that makes the hair on your neck rise on entering specific buildings; that gives you a strange feeling in the pit of your stomach before the telephone has even rang, and that accounts for "gut level responses" to people, situations, proposals and ideas.

    When you are engaged with another in any kind of healing relationship, and this could be both as a professional therapist or just listening to a friend who is in trouble and you are trying to help them somehow, both you and I have the power to help in a most profound way ? if only we knew how to transfer our invisible and unspoken understandings into action in some way.

    The Gift is the bridge over which your deep and unspoken understanding and your knowing about how to help can travel to the other person. It is easy to give, any human alive can do this ? children are especially good at it – and you will know that a change has occurred when you have given The Gift.

    What exactly happens when you give The Gift is a mystery. It has been suggested that you could be making a healing adjustment to the other’s energy system, or maybe that you adjust the flow of the meridians through their bodies, or perhaps align a chakra or two in just the right way. I’m not sure what happens, only that something happens, that it feels wonderful and right, and that it creates positive change both for the giver and for the receiver.

    I invite you to try it for yourself. It’s a simple thing yet endlessly applicable in its very simplicity and profoundly useful and helpful in many situations.

    How To Give The Gift

    Very simply, we are going to ask for a metaphorical representation of our unique contribution to the person to whom we are going to give The Gift.

    The name metaphor means a container ? and in the case of The Gift, our metaphor will "contain" whatever the person needs from us at this precise moment in time and space. It could be an understanding, a special vibration of love, something that might remove a certain negative energy, something that could unblock something, or provide nourishment in some way, support, an embrace, a space of silence or perhaps sanctuary or sustenance.

    We do not need to consciously understand what it is that we are giving; and I am saying "consciously understand" because when you have given The Gift, you will have a different kind of understanding ? you will know that it was the right thing to give, because it "feels right". You might not be able to explain in words how it was the right thing ? but then, metaphor and intuition are from the unspeakable realms, where what exists is beyond words, and that’s just fine.

    So, for a moment, consider a person to whom you might like to give The Gift.

    Allow yourself to consider them in all ways, and beyond the face they may be wearing, beyond their social status and clothes, beyond their problems and successes, beyond any love or jealousy you might have for them.

    Consider them and then ask yourself this question:

    At this time, at this moment, I ask what gift I can give to this person.

    Relax and let an idea or image bubble up in your mind. This image, sound, feeling or idea is the container that will carry your unique gift to the other.

    Here are some examples of gifts that appeared when the question was asked:

    • - a small blue and red bird

    • - a multi coloured spiral

    • - a small tree in a flower pot

    • - a pair of wings

    • - a huge field of green grass

    • - a luminous white dove

    • - a warm blue cloak to wrap around your shoulders

    • - the sound of ocean

    • - what looked like a beach ball at first and turned out to be Planet

      Earth.

    Now, take your time to consider the person and find a gift for them. Don’t argue with your choice and accept whatever springs to mind; your conscious mind doesn’t know enough to know what would be the perfect gift but your unconscious mind does, and that is the place from where the metaphor arises.

    Most people more than readily can think of something. Should your mind go blank, you can either leave the request to keep working on it and send it to you as a "flash of insight" at any time within the next few days; or you may consider which colour might be good for this person, and then just imagine a gift box with a matching ribbon on top in that colour and trust that your perfect gift will be inside that box.

    Now, imagine the person and imagine offering the gift to them. This part of the pattern creates the transfer from you to them and represents your intention to be of help.

    That is all you have to do. From then on, whatever happens next, will happen under its own processes as the interaction unfolds and the changes are made.

    Some things you might notice or come across when you give The Gift are as follows:

    Sometimes when you think of the person, they appear very different to what they normally look like ? they may appear older, younger, may be dressed differently than in "real life", or may be expressing emotions through their body postures that you are not normally aware of. This is perfectly normal and it is a sign that you are seeing who they really are.

    Often, you might experience strong emotions yourself when The Gift has come to your mind. Again, this is in a way the correct reaction to this process and it tells you that it is working. Emotions and energetic states are inextricably linked in a single system.

    So far, every person who was offered a gift received it most gratefully ? some with tears, some with astonishment and gratitude and some with childlike delight. It is conceivable however that a gift might be rejected. Should this happen, you could ask what they would prefer to have from you instead ? there is something that is absolutely unique to you for them, that they cannot get from anyone or anywhere else. If you feel you can fill the request, go ahead; but you also have the right to not fill it if it seems inappropriate or feels less than good to you.

    Pay attention to your self when sending The Gift. It is often as profound an experience to give it as it is to receive it.

    It is not necessary to tell people about the Gift, although with good friends it adds another dimension to the process and if you can discuss the nature of these gifts, gain tremendous insights into many things.

    You can give The Gift just while talking to someone and without them knowing anything about it. Briefly focus on a place beyond their physical body, and you may be able to imagine an astral copy of the person to whom you will give the gift. When you do this, pay attention to how the other person responds when The Gift is given. Some people lose their train of thought, some look over their shoulder; they are aware that something has happened which, indeed, it has. Note also how after a giving of The Gift the nature of the whole interaction seems to change for the better.

    Remember that The Gift represents an energetic exchange, in spite of the often seemingly simple or mundane metaphorical object that carries your intention across. Energetic exchanges are felt not heard or measured with a Geiger counter; pay close attention to your feelings and your emotions when give The Gift because that is how you will know that you have done something important.

    The original pattern of The Gift was developed for healers and therapists who were suffering from extreme overwhelm when faced with deeply unhappy, physically and mentally scarred people who were suffering from a lifetime of neglect, terrible trauma and lovelesness.

    The Gift creates a straightforward method for their unique healing energies and intentions to go the right places for that individual, and most importantly, helped them to no longer feel overwhelmed and helpless. The negative emotions of helplessness and conscious overwhelm disappear when you use The Gift to help others, and in so doing, are a gift to you.

    A Gift For You

    Interestingly, sometimes it happens that a person to whom you have given The Gift, will offer one in return to you ? and I don’t mean people who you have told about having sent them a gift and who will nearly always reciprocate likewise automatically, but those you imagined offering a gift to.

    Needless to say, please receive it in gratitude. As we have said before, this is an energetic exchange and energy needs to flow freely both from you to them, and from them to you.

    You can also give yourself a gift in the same way as you would to another person.

    This is an interesting exercise on many levels and it is intrinsically very different from other people’s gifts as it will be your own energy you are using instead of a different flavour which comes from another person.

    You may consider gifts for "past selves" ? perhaps there was a time in your life that was very traumatic, or you "used to be a different person" which usually means, a worse person. To give those parts of yourself gifts can help to re-align them, ease their suffering and to help them grow and heal. It is possible that there are certain "past you’s" that cannot be healed by anyone other than you yourself.

    The Mirror Gift

    As it is the case that people pop up in our lives in order to be a mirror to us and our own problems, and as it is also the case that my sister-in-law always gives me presents she would liked to have received, you might consider when you have given a few gifts to your loved ones, which one of those gifts you would like to have received as well, and give yourself the same one, too.

    Gifts For Strangers

    As my intuition increases, I used to find it harder and harder to travel on public transport or be in crowded places, simply because of the general unhappiness, loneliness and suffering that was emanating from the people around me.

    For example, I saw an Indian lady with many heavy bags at a train station. Although I helped her carry the bags onto the train, there was so much sadness and physical suffering around her like a dark grey fog that she hardly seemed to notice me. I gave her a tropical garden, and she took a deep, deep breath and seemed to become alive and aware of her surroundings.

    I then went through all the passengers of the train compartment, one by one and felt myself getting lighter and more comfortable with each gift given and hungrily received.

    I received a number of gifts in return also and left the train full of energy and brighter than I had been in years.

    What I believe is that The Gift is a stepping stone, a learning process that will allow us to do this type of work automatically and without us having to even give attention to it once we are fully familiar with its workings.

    I would invite you to try it for yourself, and note what difference it makes to you and your individual dealings with strangers and passers by.

    Gifts For Animals

    Animals (wild animals and domesticated animals) are extremely aware of energetic shifts of all kinds, and they too can receive The Gift. Further, their feedback to receiving the gift is immediate and clearly visible in their physiology, their body postures and their subsequent behaviour. Here are a few examples of gifts for animals:

    - a gift bow (for a dog which later turned out to have been "an unwanted gift");

    - a foal (for a mare who was highly strung ? as soon as the owner thought of the foal the mare stopped dead, relaxed right out and stood very quietly, with her head drooping);

    - a blue green blanket (for a dog who then came into the room for "no good reason" lay down, at full stretch, exactly in the spot the blanket "had appeared" to the owner).

    A Gift For The World

    If you remember, the original gift pattern was designed to help with overwhelm.

    What can be more overwhelming than global issues such as world pollution, world hunger, the suffering of all the children, all the animals, global warming, wars and famines, and so forth?

    What causes depression and overwhelm is the thought "There is nothing I can do".

    With The Gift, there is something you can do now beside recycling and donating to charity, and I believe that every one of us who addresses such issues at the energetic level in this way actually does make a difference.

    As The Gift pattern does not require much meditation, time or effort other than conscious volition to do it now it is a perfect beginning to start to use our abilities to make changes at the energetic level on global issues too.

    What gift will you give to the world today? To The Children? To Humanity? Whatever you have to contribute, know that it is uniquely yours to contribute ? no-one else in the world can give this gift the way you do ? and that it will make a difference.

    Feedback

    Here are some stories received about using The Gift in practise. I would very much like to hear your experience with The Gift, too. Please mail me at the address at the end of this article to contribute.

    "A friend came to visit me who is in a very unhappy relationship. I listened to her for a long while but began to feel more and more uncomfortable in the face of her anger and couldn’t think of what to do other than to just go along with it and hope she’d tire of it soon. I remembered The Gift from the newslist, and focussed on what I could be giving her. As soon as I thought of it, a white dove appeared before me. It was carrying a long flowy red ribbon in its beak, and fluttered in midair. I stared in awe. After I got over my surprise, I *gave* it to my friend, mentally released it to her. Instantly, she stopped talking. The entire mood of the room calmed, and she tied up a few loose ends and left, calm and confident."

    "This metaphorical gift giving solves a huge dilemma I have had weighing on my heart. I recently spent time with some very old friends and was quite disturbed by the way they are treating their children, and by their troubled 13 year old son. These are not people I can confront or help right now, and their kids live across the country from me so I can’t establish a relationship and help that way. But I CAN go inside myself everytime I think of it, and send whatever seems appropriate at that moment. It has been a wonderful relief to me."

    "I heard that a dear friends father had died suddenly. I wanted to do/say something to help but was in a spin, couldn’t find the right words, so I settled myself down and pictured my friend and his father, immediately I knew that the ‘gift’ was a very special poem about laughter. Later on I was tapping for my friend but it just didn’t feel right, I couldn’t find the right thing to tap on….until your mail arrived. It was so obvious I couldn’t see it. Now I know that the greatest gift that I can energetically send at this time is laughter. Thank you for putting into words what I knew but couldn’t see."

    "I have been troubled by feeling very negative ? hateful ? towards a certain person recently. When I got the message about the gift, it occurred to me to try it on that person to see if it would make any difference. Immediately, a huge black raven sprang to mind. I was worried that it might be something bad and hesitated, but it looked very beautiful and powerful so I decided to trust my unconscious mind and send it anyway. I felt better immediately as I "saw" the raven flying away all purposefully and actually found it hard to get back those feelings of negativity about the person. Later, someone told me this: "The raven on the Shamanic Medicine Wheel is the guardian of in absentia healing and it’s medicine is considered needed to bridge the Void, to reach the collective unknown." I had no idea of that but WOW. What a gift ? and just what that person must have needed. And what I needed to do to regain balance in my mind."

    "The gift I gave to a friend I did give to myself too and quite a few spooky things have happened to me since including: a change of attitude to food: frequently I am “energised ” by some “energy ” which leaps out of me; feeling at peace and “full ” of self-love and kindness. I also I had a weird experience to find out I share a past life memory with a friend!"

    "Today, a friend stopped by. He was tripping out, exploding with ideas, and I began to feel overwhelmed with his energy. I thought of The Gift, and a small speckled egg appeared in front of me. It was a lovely greenish bluish greyish color, with brownish spots. I just stared at it for a moment, sort of cherishing it. Then I released it to him. I was watching his face as I gave him this egg. He stopped in mid word and just stared at me, and asked me what he’d been saying. He said, “Something just happened. everything is different.” so I told him about the egg. he teased me about having *egged* him. Then he said that the sensation he was experiencing was a sort of encapsulation. about a half hour later, he was again escalating his thought process, and my attention drifted back to the egg. I replayed it in my mind, and as I did so, he again stopped, looked at me, and asked if I’d egged him again. I hadn’t meant to! We laughed about it. Now I can’t wait to use this with my kids, and my ex when he stops by & begins to attack me. This is truly the simplest thing I’ve ever done, and the results are remarkable."

    "I was in this doctor’s office with a replacement doctor because the regular one was on holiday. This was a woman of about 50. She spent the first ten minutes apologising to me that she wasn’t the real doctor and kept asking me if I wanted to wait until the real doctor was back again. I thought of The Gift and what came to mind was a single red rose. Whilst she was still apologising, I imagined a ghost shape of me giving the rose to a ghost shape of her, it took it and said quite loudly in a tearful voice, "No-one has ever given me one of these before." At that moment, the real woman stopped talking and looked over her shoulder, in the same direction where I was seeing the ghost shape. She took a deep breath and seemed confused for a bit, then she smiled at me and said, "Well, lets find out how can I help you".

    "The morning after I received The Gift on the list, I was out walking and saw a woman shouting and screaming at her dog in the park. For some reason I wondered if I could give a gift to the poor dog and I thought of a big red ribbon, like a gift bow. I send it to the dog and then went on to say hello to the woman and stop her somehow. She was very angry at first but calmed down, and then told me that dog had been "an unwanted gift". I nearly burst out into tears on the spot."

    "One of my best and oldest friends is dying. I lay in bed and couldn’t sleep for tears although I kept telling myself it was all for the best and that he was going home. I was exhausted and at 3am, I called up an image of my friend and began to give him all sorts of gifts, dozens of them, until he smiled and stopped me and gave me a gift instead ? it was a big white Indian blanket with symbols painted on it which he wrapped about me. I don’t know what happened or how but I felt really warm all of a sudden. I stopped crying and went to sleep. Thinking about it now, I think the gift was always about me."

    Further Information

    Working with metaphor to heal, solve problems, or even just to have fun with finding out what your imagination and intuition can do for you, is both one of the most ancient human endeavours as well as being now at the absolute cutting edge of mind-body technologies.

    This is a vastly under-rated, underestimated and underexplored domain of virtually limitless potential that is easy to access and comes naturally to most people.

    If you would like to learn more about this amazing undiscovered country, we recommend Silvia Hartmann’s "Project Sanctuary" which can be found at http://ProjectSanctuary.com

    August 16, 2010

    Its Your Life – Take Control

    Filed under: Business — Tags: , — gfxguru @ 11:56 pm

    If you seem to spend much of your life doing things for other people, if being ordered about from dawn till dusk is a normal component of your life, do something about it.

    Perhaps you love being with your children, but don’t seem to have the time. Perhaps you yearn to become an entertainer instead of the current job that you hate. Perhaps the only reason you watch TV at night is because working all day has made you exhausted. What about your partner – do you have a happy relationship or does it contribute to your misery?

    I’m not suggesting that you just yell at the next person who crosses your path, but I am suggesting you sit down with a fresh piece of paper & make a couple of lists about your life. Getting your life in some kind of perspective is one of the most important things an individual can do. It recharges our mental batteries and gives us renewed drive & purpose.

    Write down the things that MEAN THE MOST TO YOU.

    Be honest ! Don’t write things that you feel “should” be written. You have no obligations here, except to yourself ! Likewise, don’t omit things that may seem silly.

    If your job sucks, don’t write “job”.

    If your husband is a fool, don’t write “husband”.

    If your cat means more to you than world peace, write “cat”.

    Now, in a separate list, write down the things you are INTERESTED IN ACHIEVING. Again, don’t censor yourself. Disregard that little voice in your head that always says “You can’t – you’re not good enough”. Tell it to shut up. Start writing !

    If you are overweight or pregnant, don’t be afraid to write “athlete”.

    If you are lonely or isolated, don’t be afraid to write “marriage”.

    If you drive a taxi, don’t be afraid to write “internet millionaire”.

    Once you have listed both the things that truly mean the most to you in your life, and the things you would really love to achieve, making a change in your life becomes easier and inevitable.

    The process of seizing control of your life’s direction is not terribly difficult or complex. By making a couple of simple lists, you have crystallised & defined your desires. Now you just need to step up and make it happen.

    About The Author

    SO EASY IT’S ALMOST CHEATING !

    Absolutely ANYONE can learn HOW TO SELL used books by mail order. There is NO cold-selling involved – your customers WILL CONTACT YOU FIRST ! Use the power of the internet to run your own home-based business. Download sample ebook now at http://powerplay.virtualave.net/download-HTSYOIB.htm, or send a blank email to bookshop@fastfacts.net. Copyright © Darren Robinson powerplay@cheerful.com

    Change Thorns into Flowers

    Filed under: Business — Tags: , — QueenKatherine @ 8:56 am

    If you had to write an annual appraisal on yourself how would you describe yourself?

    ? Are you a mental sprinter who sees things quickly and easily? Do you react to things in a flash? Are you capable of making quick decisions?

    ? Do you find yourself watching others and saying to yourself, I could do that so much quicker?

    ? Do you find yourself taking on more work because you felt it was easier and quicker for you to do it? Do you feel that you waste so much time waiting for others to complete work?

    ? Do you feel irritable inside? Do you get frustrated because others don’t seem to understand what you are saying and where you are going?

    ? Do you find you always want to hurry things up? Do you feel more comfortable when things are concluded rather than left waiting?

    ? Do you find yourself running out of patience with partner, children, colleagues because they seem to take more time or appear to lack concentration and go off on ‘stupid’ tangents which have little or no relevance to the project?

    ? Are you the alert, quick acting person who is known as the achiever?

    ? Are you that person who is good at developing ideas and keeping them on track?

    If you own up to a couple or more of these traits and feel really irritable and impatient with yourself and those around you. If you feel that you are always clock watching. If you feel and act like a bear with a sore head more often than not. If you find yourself getting into unnecessary arguments with your partner and children as well as in work then stop for a moment. The negative part of your makeup has taken you over. You are operating from your weaknesses rather than your strengths. This is not your natural state. This is learned behaviour.

    You have learned to become a thorn in the belief that this behaviour will protect you.

    You prick people. You make people irritated and eventually ruin their performance. And people keep away from you.

    But all is not lost. You can find and wake up the natural you.

    How?

    1. Spend time on your own and remember your natural positive side:

    inside every impatient person is a patient, gentle one waiting to get out.

    inside every impatient person is a person who loves working with others and getting the best out of them.

    inside ever impatient person is a person who loves to involve others in tasks.

    2. Stop looking back. What has happened has happened it’s all part of the drama of life and cannot be changed. Don’t waste your time and energy, you can’t change the situation. Looking back is just another learned behaviour it’s not natural.

    3. Focus on NOW. Look at your thoughts and think about what you want to achieve. The only thing you can control is your thoughts so keep them focussed on what you want. Keep them focussed on the task ahead.

    4. Mix with people who want to succeed. Keep a distance from dream stealers. Keep away from people who spend their lives telling others why things cannot happen.

    When you follow this method you will change. You will be seen you for what you naturally are; a positive, popular, sought-after, powerful, human being.

    Instead of a thorn that is always pricking people you will return to your natural state; a flower.

    People like flowers. People like to have flowers around them. People like the wonder of flowers. People like the magic. People like the energy, the life force, the uncontrollable power. People love being around natural things. People are amazed at how flowers grow and survive in the most unlikely situations. When you are natural and using your natural strengths people approach you and want to be with you.

    The skills you have of alertness, quick thinking and a quick independent mind are key skills in this world. When you are stressed you tend to go it alone. But when you are working from your natural talents you are a gifted team worker. Just give yourself time to work from your strengths rather than your weakness.

    Good Luck

    Graham and Julie
    www.desktop-meditation.com

    To improve your intuition, initiative and energy levels please go to: http://www.desktop-meditation.com It’s free.

    August 13, 2010

    Courage to Change

    Filed under: Business — Tags: , — huda616 @ 5:56 pm

    This is a story about a woman we will call Anne, a thirty-five-year-old woman who concluded that she could never find a man. She determined that loneliness was her fate and thus went as far as accepting it as fact. Her case proves what I have discovered in advising single men and women: it does not matter what your circumstances are, every man or woman can and is able to find a happy relationship or reach their potential by making the right choices.

    Anne was a very beautiful and educated woman. Beneath her beauty were a lot of problems that I never imagined. She had grown up in a family where she was led to believe that no man would ever want her. She was the best looking and best educated among her family members. Yet for many years she worked in the family business for minimum wage. The sad part was she was willing to work under those terms until the day she died, because she had accepted that she was the black sheep of the family.

    One of the ideas I suggested to Anne, to help her to stop thinking she would never find love, was to start dating. But she was even afraid to date. When the suggestion was made, Anne declined, saying, "But who wants me? No man will date a woman like me." I tried my very best to let Anne know that she was a very attractive woman. All she needed to do was believe there was a man out there for her.

    She was so concerned that no man would accept her, the thought of having to start dating made her cry. I personally began feeling sorry for her. I could not understand why she was so afraid to venture outside. I finally reached a point where the only choice I had left in my attempt to help Anne was to give her an ultimatum. I told her: "Anne, you can do it. I am willing to help you but if you are going to come to me for advice, only to make one excuse after the other, then why bother? Don’t waste my time. Anne, you must try. Give guys a chance to take you out at least in the daytime. If you are concerned, tell someone about your date, your date’s name and phone number, where you will be going and what time you should be arriving home.

    "Don’t let your date pick you up from your mom’s house," I told her. "Meet him somewhere in the open. This way he does not know where you live and you will not have to worry about him coming to look for you." I proceeded to tell Anne that unless she was willing to try, I didn’t see any reason why she should continue coming to me for help.

    At the same time, I knew a spiritual couple who were visiting from the U.S. I invited Anne to have dinner with me and the couple in the hopes that the woman could befriend Anne. Anne told me she didn’t have any friends. The only people she saw were myself and a couple of friends I had introduced her to. Unfortunately, none of them wanted to befriend Anne, because she was so negative about everything. People simply did not want to be around her. After the dinner was over, we all began to converse.

    I had tried to encourage Anne to leave home and be her own woman. As we talked after dinner, the woman began to share a story with Anne. The woman told Anne: "Once there was an eaglet who grew up with ducks. When the eaglet grew strong wings to fly, the mother duck told the eaglet, ‘You hatched with ducks but you are not a duck. You are an eagle. Eagles don’t walk, they fly. So fly away to be with eagles…’ The eaglet replied, ‘No, I am not an eagle. I am a duck. I cannot fly.’ The mother duck told the eagle, ‘Yes, you are an eagle. You were hatched by a duck but you are an eagle. You can fly.’ The eaglet was so afraid to try it replied, ‘No, I cannot fly. I am a duck-if I try to fly, I will fall.’

    "The mother duck told the eaglet, ‘You are an eagle. You don’t belong here. Fly and be with your own kind and you will be much happier. Try, please try. Eagles fly, they don’t walk. You are an eagle. You can fly.’ The eagle thought for a minute. It began to stretch and flap its wings. It bounced around a little, then it jumped up and flew. As it lifted off the ground it realized it could fly and began to soar in the air."

    We all sat and listened to this emotional story. I know I wept and so did Anne. I cared about Anne so much. I wanted her to find happiness. Not long after and with a little encouragement and support, Anne moved out of her parents’ basement. She found her own apartment and a full-time job at a local hotel. She began to date and met a man who cared for her. Although it was difficult and frightening at first, Anne tried and when she did, she soared.

    This real-life example shows that we can all find happiness and success if we choose to make the choices and do the things that bring us happiness and success. Anne only found success when she left her comfort zone and tried. In your love life, the only way to experience true failure is if you don’t try, if you give up or try to hide behind excuses and justifications.

    The eaglet eventually flew with eagles instead of walking with the ducks. This means, for example in relationship, you can find love with your appropriate mate-not just any man or woman for the sake of having a lover. You can live your potential. But settling for unhealthy and mediocre relationships is not a way to find happiness. You can achieve your true potential in all things if do your part.

    You can tell from Anne’s story that despite her upbringing and life experiences, she was able to find happiness by making choices that brought her happiness. When Anne left her comfort zone (like the eagle leaving the ducks), she reached her potential. Do you make choices that bring you stress and disappointments? Do you settle for relationships that bring you misery? What is your emotional well-being worth to you? Decide the kind of life and relationships you want. Then you will know what you need to do.

    Ernest Quansah is a Soulmate Relationship Expert who helps men and women find their true love and create the relationship of their dreams. He is the author of How to Identify Your Soulmate, a love relationship advice manual designed to help people find happiness and fulfillment in their relationships.

    If you would like more information about his services, please visit http://www.soulmateinfoserve.com. Webmasters, for free reprint articles please visit http://soulmateinfoserve.com/articles/index.php.

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